Dodging a Bullet

I dodged a huge bullet this week. Not a real one, of course.

Four teachers from my school will no longer have a job after the end of this month. My heart breaks for my co-workers who are stuck in a horrible situation, and not knowing what is going to happen in the future. It was just about a year ago where I was in a similar position where I was having to look for another teaching job in the middle of the school year. It's hard.

Unfortunately, our school has been struggling with enrollment since school has started, and since we are short at least 70 students, we can't afford to keep four of our teachers. That's what can suck about working at a charter school. Our ability to sustain ourselves is quite different than in a regular public school. Right now, as much as I don't exactly want ridiculously full classrooms, I am praying for some sort of miracle.

Not only do I feel bad for my co-workers who are left searching for jobs, but this severely affects our school. I'm thinking about all the kids who have had all this time to get used to their teacher and just get into a routine, and now they are going to be moved into a different classroom with a different teacher and new classmates. That can be a hard adjustment for some kids. We are also losing our Art teacher. That really sucks. I am a huge supporter of the Arts in schools, and I feel bad for the kids who thrive in those environments because we all are suffering.

This change affects me quit a bit, too. One of our 7th grade teachers is being let go. Not only do I adore her, but she is also the one who teaches Literature. Since she will no longer be teaching that, it is up to me to do not only her job, but mine as well! Whew! I definitely lost some sleep worrying about that one last night! I know I've taught the literature before with this curriculum (which I'm not worried about one bit), but having to teach that IN ADDITION TO all the spelling, grammar, and writing that needs to be taught is pretty overwhelming for me right now.

I have at least figured out that my primary role will soon be teaching all the literature for the middle school. Although I am quite sad and disappointed about losing the opportunity of working with an amazing woman and educator, I am excited that I get to teach these stories again. I LOVED teaching the literature. These books are amazing and I have been feeling a little sad not being able to teach them again. It looks like I am going to have to lean upon the help of my team of middle school teachers to help out with teaching the spelling, grammar, and writing.

I don't know, maybe I'm experiencing a little bit of survivor's guilt. It very well could have been me who was told they wouldn't have a job to go to after the end of this month. Just as easily as I am able to teach the literature, the other teacher is just as able to teach what I do. It's rough. It'll be hard keeping track of another set of stuff I have to do with two separate grade books for each subject, and so on. I was just starting to feel like I was getting the hang of things. Now these kids are losing a teacher, and now we get an entirely different schedule!

I know I'll survive this. It's just a lot to take in right now. I need to remind myself that God never puts us through more than we can handle. He is in control and He knows what He is doing. I'll be fine. I just need to get used to the idea first.

On a side note....things with the pregnancy are going along just smoothly. I no longer depend on my anti-nausea pills, and I seem to have more of my energy back. I am still SUPER sensitive to certain smells or just thinking of nastiness. I seem more sensitive to these sorts of things than I was with the other two pregnancies. I'm really looking forward to when I can start feeling the baby move. That has always been my favorite part about being pregnant. We find out the gender of the baby during the second week of October! I can't wait to see the little one for our first ultrasound!