Andrew and I have always been very close. He was always the one I turned to when something was going wrong, or if I just needed to vent off some steam. When I started college, Andrew lived only a block away from me, so it was really nice to be so close to him and to hang out whenever I wanted to. He was essential in helping me get connected with an awesome group of God-loving Christians. He has always been there for me when I needed him and even when I didn't. I have always depended on him to lend a listening ear or to help give me advice on something. I adore him. Andrew gets me like only a brother can. In some selfish way, I never really thought about looking elsewhere for friendships because I always assumed he would be there. He had always been there for me (location wise) until now. It's not like he isn't here for me now, but it's just different now that he is living two hours away from me.
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for him and that he has gone back to school and gotten a new job and is supporting his family. I am very happy for him and definitely proud of him. I'm just sad for me. I guess I just always imagined that we would live close to each other and raise our kids together. I know our kids are still very young and there still is time, but I guess I'm having a harder time adjusting to the change than I thought.
I miss being able to stop by his store at any time just to say "hi". I miss seeing him at church every Sunday because he was there. I miss making his favorite burritos just because I knew that if I was making them, he would be there for dinner and take left-overs with him. I miss going to chick flick movies with him because Jason doesn't take me to chick flicks. He was there when I graduated college. He was the Best Man at my wedding, and I watched him cry the whole entire time. Just like I cried my eyes out when he got married. We just have this special bond, and I miss him so much. I miss watching how my girls adore Andrew and love playing with him. He was there when my girls were born.
Here he is holding Meghan the day she was born.
This is Andrew with Audrey about an hour after she was born.
He is such a wonderful uncle to my girls. They adore him and look forward to seeing him. They still ask if they are going to see him, Lindsay, and David whenever we go to Nana and Papa's house every Sunday for dinner.I guess I never thought about his leaving until recently. Maybe that's because I wouldn't let myself think about it because I knew it would make me cry. My oldest brother, Ted, moved away when I was only 14, so he was never really around when I became the person I am today. My sister Sarah and I are really close, but that is because we are sisters. We will always be close. My relationship with Andrew is just different. We have always looked to each other for support and friendship and that unconditional love only a sibling can give.
I made Andrew's favorite burritos a couple weeks ago and cried the whole time because I knew he wasn't there to eat them. Last week I was showing someone at work a picture of Audrey on my computer and I came across a picture of Andrew with Audrey and I started crying. He left a voice message on my phone today and I cried. Not like his message said anything important, but I just miss him terribly. I know this sounds weird, but I feel like a part of me is missing. I miss my friend--my brother.
No comments:
Post a Comment