Here I am. I am actually blogging.
I have several friends and family members who also blog, and I never really thought this would be something I would be interested in doing. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the blogs of my loved ones, but never gave it thought as to whether or not I should try doing this myself.
I feel that this is more for myself than anything else. I know this sounds really selfish, but it's true. I have so many thoughts, feelings, desires, fears, hopes, etc. bumping around in my head that I thought it might help me to be able to have some sort of filter. I find myself laying awake at night thinking for what seems like hours just trying to process all the information and ideas that are going on in my head. I thought this might be the best way for me to try to sort through all the things I am thinking about, and hopefully be able to see things in a different perspective.
I am definitely planning on posting things about how my life is with my family, my struggles and accomplishments as a teacher, and anything else I see worth sharing. Please feel free to respond, share, or even ignore what I have to say (I get that already as it is being a teacher, so don't worry about hurting my feelings by ignoring me). Sometimes it's kinda nice to know that I'm not the only person out there who might be struggling with what I am going through.
I chose the title of my blog, "Undeserving and Blessed" because there are so many times in my life where I have felt that I am undeserving of God's love and blessings he continuously lavishes on me. There are so many times in my life where I have failed to recognize and acknowledge God's blessings and provisions for my life, and that is what makes me so undeserving. I am undeserving of His love, His grace and mercy...I don't deserve anything. The only thing I deserve in my life is to die because I am born a sinner and I will die a sinner. The only thing I have for me is that I have willingly accepted and welcomed God's love for me in my life and I choose to follow Him because of His love for me.
2 comments:
Welcome to the Blogosphere Leslie!
You'll enjoy it, I promise...
Hi Honey,
Surprise! (I bet). This is Grandma.
I have never read a blog before, and you are the first person to send me yours...thanks!
It is good to recognize that you are undeserving...we all are, but for the Blood of Jesus, which takes all the undeservedness away from Father God's eyes and thus makes us "DESERVING'. Over the years I have felt so undeserving so many times, but I try to remember what your Grandpa Lee told me once when we were first married. I was fussing over how I didn't think God could forgive me for being divorced and remarried and that I felt like there was a big, black cloud following me around everywhere I went. Your Grandpa said to me..."well, then, you are calling God a liar!" I was SHOCKED at this, and said, "No I'm not, I would never call God a liar." Grandpa continued, "You asked Him to forgive you, didn't you?" "Yes", I said, "I have asked Him to forgive me for that many times". Grandpa continued, "Well do you believe Him when He says, "If you ask forgiveness for your sins, I will forgive your sins and wash you as white as snow" (Isa 1:18), and that "Your sins are as far away as the East is from the West"(Psa 103:12), "and, when you keep asking Him to forgive you for that sin, He doesn't know what you are talking about because He has forgotten about it" (Heb 10:17-18)?
Boy, was that a wake-up call for me! I had never thought of it that way and ever since, I remember that I AM forgiven, not because of what I have done, but because of what Jesus did for me. Of course we are not to be proud or bragging because we haven't done anything good, but we can still be confident because of what He did for us. Isn't that great? So you stop beating yourself up and whenever you feel unworthy, just say your prayers and start singing praises to God for his Mercy and Grace and Love, which will never end. You are forever a child of the King!
Now, about those dreams. I believe the Holy Spirit gives us 'unction" to 'hear' Him and 'follow' Him in many ways. It is often called 'a confirmation'. I think you have the right plan..to pray abut it specifically and ask Him to open the doors He wants you to go through, (and to close the ones He does not have in mind) and to provide the means, (money, selling house, etc.), as well as making it as smooth as glass, a perfect fit, with family, job and other circumstances. This is easy for Him and he will direct your path. (Pro 3:6)
If He does not direct you, then do nothing. The old adage is good, 'when in doubt, don't'.
We will see what happens.
Love, G'Ma
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